Bless me Father, for I have sinned...

...it has been three months since my last post. Some of you have even sent me reminders to update my blog.... (hello Matt, Kerri, Steph, Shawn, Mary, and Holly)... Boy, I had no idea that taking on a blog would be such a tremendous responsibility; people check frequently for updates and often feel disappointed when there are none. It's a good thing that I am no longer Catholic; otherwise, I'd have had trouble sleeping over the last three months.

By way of explanation, I should tell you that it was an interesting spring. Part of the reason why I have failed to post is the fact that I spent over 6 weeks between April and May suffering from a constant headache. During that time I went through all kinds of tests, my Doctor and I discussed many possible diagnoses: temporal arteritis, multiple sclerosis, cancer, brain tumors, each one scarier than the last...I had blood work and brain scans. In the end, after ruling out all the horrible possibilities (Thank God), we settled on what my doctor has called atypical migraines.

Of course, for a while the headaches were so severe, that the last thing I wanted to do was to log onto the computer if I didn't have to, then I felt as if it had been so long since I had posted that I would need to make a substantial post and that became paralyzing - hence, the lack of activity on the blog.

One of my favorite quotations comes from Richard Bach’s novel Illusions. He wrote: "There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts." I've thought about this quotation quite a bit lately. There was a time, during the worst of it, when I didn't know what the outcome of all the tests would be. They had seen a spot on my cat-scan and wanted to do some more thorough scans to rule out a brain tumor. This was the closest I have ever come to recognizing the fact that one day I will die. Amazingly, I was pretty calm through all of this. I started writing my will and I began a letter to Katie outlining all the advice I want to be sure I give her as she grows into adulthood. Strangely, I felt at peace. If you know me well, you are most likely surprised by that last statement.

Where, you may ask, is the gift in all of this? I believe it is in the fact that as a result of this experience, I feel as though I am living more and experiencing life “in the moment”. Instead of focusing on how busy I am, or how much work I have to do, I take time out to appreciate each day. I notice the sun sparkling on the river, I enjoy watching a mother hawk teach her young to fly, and I look for the good in each day. It amazes me that I always find it. It amazes me that I used to rush by and miss it. I hope I can continue to live like this and that my busy lifestyle doesn't suck me back into the trap of rushing through life.

So here we are. Yes it has been almost three months since the last post, but the blog is back. Steve has been added as an administrator and he will be adding posts as well. We’ve done a ton of work to the house over the last 2 months - Steve built me a screen porch and remodeled the kitchen. Katie is now playing softball and guitar. There will be photos posted soon. Stay tuned…